*P.S. I’d be using the word ‘relationship(s)’ rather loosely in this article so feel free to adjudge your own meaning to it.*

Recently I have come to ascertain that relationships are influenced by circumstances and just a handful of them are able to break this status quo. There’s no implicit meaning to this so please read it as it is. Relationships can only thrive with mutual effort. This involves both parties meeting halfway with the resources needed and although halfway might seem like a short distance just a few are able to make it this far because they are able to drop all the unnecessary weight: anxiety, paranoia, fear of rejection, boundaries, insecurities, doubt, etc. However, if we’re going to be realistic just one in a hundred people are able to prune off all this weight and that’s where sacrifice and consequently pain comes in the picture.

Am I saying the perfect relationship is impossible? …Precisely.

We all have individual priorities and responsibilities to ourselves and the people around us and in the log run as we are vested in our respective paths we tend to meet new people who take up the roles of people we thought were “irreplaceable” in the future we envisaged for ourselves. Knots become lose and bonds become weak. Usually there’s not much you can do (keyword is usually). You just sit by and teach yourself to let go while giving yourself a pat on the back because if you try too hard to save a relationship you’re facilitating single handedly you’re more or less giving pearls to pigs. It’s a very conflicting position to find oneself in but it’d interest you to know that everyone finds him or herself in this position at least once in their lifetime. At a point in time it’s worth remembering that it was good while it lasted and although you had hoped it’d last forever, everything has it’s time; Ecclesiastics 3

It’s never good news to realise that what you invested ample time and effort in could at anytime go down the drain and you’re left questioning your decisions and cursing your sentiment. Relationships are ephemeral, yes. In some few cases they’re worth the sacrifice but many a time they are suicide missions (no pun intended )

Are they worth it?…They probably are.

Am I sure?…Certainly not.

Vulnerability is a part of human nature, a risk we’d all have to take eventually (well some of us at least) in the hope of getting in return something bigger than ourselves. The only plausible caution here is making the right choice of who you decide to eventually give a valuable piece of yourself to.

It’s quite unfortunate that not all relationships have the happy ending we’d hoped for. Love is a decision but letting go is a judgement. It doesn’t stem from mutuality but contempt; letting go not because you don’t care but because they don’t. That’s about the bravest thing one can do.

One can only come as far to a dead end but when given the right reasons to stay they might take their chances. However, any reason to second guess your priority in their life is your cue to walk away with your head held high.

Loneliness they say is a side effect but can anyone feel more lonely than in a relationship where their feelings are relegated to the background? The good news is the scar of a relationship is in the heart where there’s enough blood and oxygen to accelerate clotting and healing. It might take longer than you’d hoped it would but as afore mentioned, everything is ephemeral. No matter how hot the water is, eventually it gets cold.

There certainly is no formula to the perfect relationship and hence no guarantee to a rosy one. Mishaps are surely ahead in all relationships. It’s up to you to figure out the ones worth comprising while calculating your worth. It’s sad but sometimes goodbye is the purest form of love.

This article was a response to a question from a subscriber so I’d like to thank you for giving me an opportunity to write on a different genre after quite a while.


  1. Serwaa July 9, 2022 at 5:51 am

    That’s a great piece…relationships is indeed two people making a decision to be together.

    1. Clarkson July 9, 2022 at 5:22 pm

      Couldn’t have said it any better! Thanks for reading!🙏


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