The last bit of advice that I want to give you is that you should cut yourself some slack. It’s okay that you’ve taken on too much in a world that’s designed to wear down your ability to make good decisions. Rather than punishing yourself or attempting to bury your urges, listen with curiosity to what thoughts and feelings are behind those impulses.
One way to overcome this is to label your thoughts as productive worry and unproductive worry to see things from a clearer perspective. When you know the difference between productive and unproductive worrying you can start to draw the line between the thoughts which you should nurture. Eventually this helps you feel more confident in yourself, your choices and your abilities.
If there’s one thing about yourself you should always keep in mind it’s who you want to be in the future.
Who are the people you look up to?
What is it about them that you admire?
And what is it you see in yourself that you feel is worth nurturing?
Getting in the habit of asking yourself things like, “what does this choice or action say about me?” and “is this in line with my best self” brings you closer to the kind of person you’re striving to be. It helps you stay true to your own values, passions and goals.
If you find yourself in the process of emotional healing then kudos. You should be proud that you’re taking the steps to heal for it isn’t easy. Like self love, healing not only takes time but it’s also very complex. Unravelling possible years of buried trauma is daunting. If you become overwhelmed during this process, know that you aren’t alone. Digging deep and healing from past wounds, or reoccurring ones can be an overwhelming process.
It’s wrong to have to live in constant fear of being taken advantage of but it’s worse to have to live every single day of your life trying to recover from the ordeal of being taken advantage of.
Sticking to a plan doesn’t mean doing the plan perfectly each time. Knowing your own limits and what you’re likely and not likely to do can help you decide for yourself. Always try to be more understanding of yourself in the same way you would understand a family member or friend. Don’t feel dissatisfied that you weren’t able to follow your goals, progress is progress. Be gentle with yourself.
Emotional detachment is a defence mechanism used to cope with distressing and overwhelming emotions. It’s the mind’s way of disengaging from traumatic experiences. It’s also a tool that develops in order for you to gain resilience against the abuse and to keep your sense of self. However, the effects of emotional attachment can linger after the relationship has ended and can prevent you from opening up and being emotionally vulnerable.
Emotional wounds can’t be seen but they can linger on for a lifetime. They have the power to affect your pysche, productivity and overall function as an individual if left unaddressed. Unlike physical wounds, they aren’t visible so we don’t have a surefire, simple band aid for it.
It is a feeling of life passing you by. When you don’t have a daily routine or order, it provides hopelessness about your future and a lack of faith in yourself. Having a routine creates predictability which does wonders for your mental health as well as your physical and emotional health.