The last bit of advice that I want to give you is that you should cut yourself some slack. It’s okay that you’ve taken on too much in a world that’s designed to wear down your ability to make good decisions. Rather than punishing yourself or attempting to bury your urges, listen with curiosity to what thoughts and feelings are behind those impulses.
One way to overcome this is to label your thoughts as productive worry and unproductive worry to see things from a clearer perspective. When you know the difference between productive and unproductive worrying you can start to draw the line between the thoughts which you should nurture. Eventually this helps you feel more confident in yourself, your choices and your abilities.
If there’s one thing that I’ve learnt over the past couple of years of building habits and my personal development journey; it is an unending process. There will always be a struggle and that’s okay. The sooner you learn that, the sooner you realise that you can start to show up and actually enjoy it. Enjoy those moments where you’re just not getting it. Get used to trying over and over and over again until you get it right. It’s completely okay to screw up.
You don’t owe everyone your best self, you owe yourself and deserving individuals your best self. Don’t waste your energy where it isn’t appreciated or reciprocated and regardless of how far in the moment you might’ve gone it really isn’t a play of interest to stay there. It drains you; your energy, resources and drive which you need to survive and support those who actually deserve it.
If there’s one thing about yourself you should always keep in mind it’s who you want to be in the future.
Who are the people you look up to?
What is it about them that you admire?
And what is it you see in yourself that you feel is worth nurturing?
Getting in the habit of asking yourself things like, “what does this choice or action say about me?” and “is this in line with my best self” brings you closer to the kind of person you’re striving to be. It helps you stay true to your own values, passions and goals.
We live in a busy world and it is important to remember that everything and everyone out there on social media is competing for your attention because that’s how much of an asset you are to them. You get to choose who or what you’re paying attention to. Paying attention is exchanging value; your content for my time and time is luxury. Your pick is one in a million. If indeed you believe what you’d give attention to is worthwhile, so be it but if you want a run for your time and perhaps money, every single pick should add to your knowledge shelf and make you a better person. Remember, your greatest threat is ignorance.
At 20 years old, I don’t worry about failure as much as I used to. Of course I’m not trying to fail and I don’t want to fail but I understand that it is literally the price you pay for trying anything.
If you find yourself in the process of emotional healing then kudos. You should be proud that you’re taking the steps to heal for it isn’t easy. Like self love, healing not only takes time but it’s also very complex. Unravelling possible years of buried trauma is daunting. If you become overwhelmed during this process, know that you aren’t alone. Digging deep and healing from past wounds, or reoccurring ones can be an overwhelming process.