I’ve lived quite a period of my life believing self control was just an illusion. Most of it was influenced by some books I’ve read and the other percentage by my impulsive self. It’s an abyss of perspectives we can’t delve into right now however I have come to terms with what is most important in taking a stance regarding the ambiguity of this topic.You’d wonder why sometimes it is easy to stop yourself from taking a certain path and as stated in one of my earlier articles we all have a conscience, the centre of our existence (if you want to check it out please click this link: LGBT) , this is why we restrain ourselves from doing what we believe we ought not to.However, I do believe the ability to do it once means a propensity to do it again hence self control might or might not be just an illusion depending on where an individual stands with his conscience. (P.S. it is NOT an illusion)Self control includes the ability to delay gratification, restrain impulses, complete unpleasant tasks and put others before yourself. People with greater self control can resist temptation even if the temptation promises short term rewards. In contrast people with less self control may be more likely to be aggressive, suffer depression, indulge in unhealthy habits and even commit suicide.
Self control takes a lot of nerves and blood flow as a well as a very well informed sense of progress however like everything else in this world it can be taught and learnt not withstanding the fact that there would be setbacks along the journey. Regardless what matters is the effort we put into become the better version of ourselves.To achieve self control one must;
Be assertive (Learn to say no and mean it)Bible Principle: Matthew 5:37 “Learn your word ‘yes’ mean yes and your ‘no’ mean no.”
People have the notion that this is so easy or it’s the easiest part of the process. They believe all one needs to do is purport in his heart to abstain. However, it is one thing for the mind to say something at a point in time when the conditions encourage her to easily resolve never to follow a certain path and it another for the flesh to follow that mandate. Paul said that he beats his body into subjection. Now it is ideal that we take note of the fact that this statement isn’t a passive one and it came from the mouth of a powerful man like Paul. It takes effort and hard work to achieve the level of self control Paul described in his statement; prayer, effort, fasting, a busy mind, etc.
Understand the consequences of his actions, both good and bad.Bible Principle: Galatians 6:7 “Whatever a person is sowing, this he will also reap.”
Whatever we do inevitably comes back to us and there’s no two ways about that. Some people refer to it as karma, I refer to it as nature. It only makes sense that our actions would affect what comes out of them as our actions are a build up of what we feel and what we think. Whatever we prowess would eventually gravitate towards us that’s why it is good to have self-restraint and to keep our temper at bay always.
Learn to Prioritise Bible Principle: Philippians 1:10 “Make sure of the more important things.”
This is no doubt the easiest. We all know what’s best for us and what’s best for everyone around us. We were all brought up surrounded by certain dogmas and hence the niceties of society are at our fingertips. We just happen to fail to recognise them at certain points in time because in the moment our feelings, desires and wants overwhelm us. Self control is not only about holding back from doing wrong. It involves doing what is necessary even when this is not exciting or fun.
Be a good role modelBible Principle: John 13:15 “I set the pattern for you that just as I did to you, you should also do.”
Being a good role model has absolutely nothing to do with your conduct when you’re at a social gathering or in the midst of our group pf people but has everything to do with your actions and behaviour when you’re alone. We tend to forget that we are the bigger picture. We are the people we should be trying to impress because if we don’t have the pride and satisfaction in who we are we’d never see the need to do what’s right for us hence eschewing the iniquities of life.
Shaping ourselves into becoming the person we could be proud of is going to be the most difficult task we could take on. We tend to be judgmental of others decisions and actions but we forget that the only person we could ever really know his or her flaws holistically is us, making it easier to hate ourselves. But we must come to terms with ourselves and forgive ourselves if we really want to move on. Nobody’s perfect and nobody certainly would ever be. Forget all the grudges because forgiveness is the first step to self control.
Thank you very much if you made it this far. This is the maiden edition of Thursday Talks! Please be sure to leave us a review and share as well. Have an amazing weekend ahead.